Today I learnt a new word: Petrosexual. I have BBC's infantile and scatological presenter Jeremy Clarkson to thank for it. It is obviously a take-off on Metrosexual which itself is a cheap knock-off of Heterosexual. The Metrosexuals I have seen do not appear to be heterosexuals. Being not a hetero helps perhaps. It is not my intention to discuss sexual orientations and their rights and wrongs here. In addition to my belief that such matters are intensely private I do have a healthy fear of the ire of those who are "differently orientated".
Petrosexual. Who is one? Petros used to be called petrol-heads a short while ago. You see Clarkson's infantile pranks may be popular with certain audiences but he is not the arbiter of English language trends. So petrosexual is really a wannabe neologism yet to find its place under the sun. I have no doubt it one day will. At this moment it is still a wannabe. Who really is a Petro? For the answers we must perhaps get into the etymology of its more established sibling, the Metro.
Wikipedia defines a Metro thus: Metrosexual is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual coined in 1994 describing a man (especially one living in an urban,post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends a lot of time and money on shopping for his appearance. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of sex deconstruction and its associations with consumerism.
Dr Dictionary has nothing to say about them preferring to dwell on Heterosexuals instead.
If we follow the same train of thought, then there would seem to be a justification for the neologism. Prima facie. There are metropolitan men who are heteros and who get off on owning expensive performance cars and driving them at high speeds. They fit the other requirements too: urban-living, post industrial, capitalist and prone to spending vast sums on fast women and faster cars. I wouldn't want to deconstruct their sexual signifiers, although it is rumoured that some had theirs reconstructed.
Petrosexual. Who is one? Petros used to be called petrol-heads a short while ago. You see Clarkson's infantile pranks may be popular with certain audiences but he is not the arbiter of English language trends. So petrosexual is really a wannabe neologism yet to find its place under the sun. I have no doubt it one day will. At this moment it is still a wannabe. Who really is a Petro? For the answers we must perhaps get into the etymology of its more established sibling, the Metro.
Wikipedia defines a Metro thus: Metrosexual is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual coined in 1994 describing a man (especially one living in an urban,post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends a lot of time and money on shopping for his appearance. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of sex deconstruction and its associations with consumerism.
Dr Dictionary has nothing to say about them preferring to dwell on Heterosexuals instead.
If we follow the same train of thought, then there would seem to be a justification for the neologism. Prima facie. There are metropolitan men who are heteros and who get off on owning expensive performance cars and driving them at high speeds. They fit the other requirements too: urban-living, post industrial, capitalist and prone to spending vast sums on fast women and faster cars. I wouldn't want to deconstruct their sexual signifiers, although it is rumoured that some had theirs reconstructed.
I object to this bias in favour of men of certain orientation, to the exclusion of those who are differently orientated. I foresee a protest march by the LGBT.
A petrosexual is to cars what a Metrosexual is to personal grooming. David Beckham was considered the original Metro. Still is. Closer home many failed actors and wannabe page three boys fit that description. It is amazing that although some famously well-groomed men like Anil Ambani were not talked of as Metros. I don't know if he was ever miffed by this omission, but metro or not he can have any girl he wants whenever he wants. Men like him are probably too busy with their business to be full-time Metros. As for Metros being Hetero I dont entirely buy that description. You wouldn't too, if you have seen anyone officially certified as a metro. I have seen a few officially certified by the arbiter of such things, the venerable Shobha De, and to my eyes they looked as straight as a dog's tail.
A Petro has to be as vain about his car as a Metro is about his looks and grooming. Those cars have to be fast, insanely expensive, totally not-green, and about as much a family ride as a Saturn V moon rocket. He also has to be someone who knows how to drive such a car and actually revel in driving one. I am not sure that our own indigenous variety of Petros fit the last two requirements: I once caught the scion of a very well-known business family sitting in the ultimate German sports car while his driver drove. He looked very sheepish at being found out and shrugged his shoulder as if to say, "what can I say, its the traffic". He does not qualify as a Petro although he would like to and meets the other requirement concerning fast women.
Unlike Metros, Petros do not have to shave their chest.
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