Like all good people I made my New Year resolutions for the year 2013. I have always made them for decades. I have also, with equal regularity, broken them for years. Like quitting smoking, for instance. Fifteen years of resolutions to quit didn't help beyond the first weeks of the New Years. Finally my GP's refusal to attend to me unless I quit forced me to give up. I haven't looked back since, a full quarter century later. Dealing with Wine has been a lot easier given the serious mismatch between my preferences (single malt) and local availability (rot gut). Women were never a serious pursuit (I am not saying this to please my family - it is due my Tambram origins and upbringing) and I am not a warbler, even of the bathroom variety.
I am no glutton and am not a party animal. I don't need to make serious lifestyle changes except exercising. I have embraced the last named since the middle of last year and believe it is keeping my bad stuff down and good stuff up - I am too chicken to get them tested.
What I mean is I don't need to make fresh resolutions for living a better life - my Tambram credentials ensure that I cannot lead a more boring - and virtuous - life.
Still I have made some resolutions for the year 2013. These involve the following:
A. Drive like a local which entails
B. I shall flout all laws and regulations. Those who can flout the law do so. Those who can't, invoke discipline, courtesy and such nonsense. Discipline and courtesy are for the wimps. We Tamils hail from a proud martial tradition.
C. I shall force my way through queues at cinemas, hospitals, restaurants, railway stations, chemists etc. "They also serve who stand and wait" may be OK for Milton and those who want to serve.. But I want to be served which entails others standing and waiting while I am being served. I shall elbow sharply those who get in my way and stare down anyone who raises an eyebrow.
D. In the time-honoured Chennai tradition I shall share my all with everyone around and that includes my thoughts, family stories, phone conversations etc. This entails expressing thoughts, and conversing on phone at the loudest my larynx can manage. Even in public. Sharing will also involve sharing my garbage as in leaving my garbage in front of the neighbours' homes. My children however will not squat in front of my neighbours' homes - they are too grown up for that. The sharing shall include one's B.O.
E. To keep the family ties alive I shall visit family often and without prior information. Since life starts early in Chennai these visits shall be early in the day or mid afternoon which for some may be waking and siesta times. Family means never having to say you are coming, to paraphrase Love Story.
F. I shall take an active interest in culture, attending concerts during the Chennai Music Season. This may involve acting knowledgeable in matters musical, discussing the merits or lack thereof of musicians and composers, carrying songbooks to concerts and sharing my knowledge with those around. I shall also endeavour to make notes during concerts which is a highly evolved skill considering that it has to be done in a darkened concert hall while listening to the singer and discussing the finer points of the raga with the neighbour despite his / her obvious lack of enthusiasm for my views.
G. I shall take an active interest in match-making between eligible boys and girls and strive to ensure that Chennai does not fall victim to the kind of "one for four" demographic problem that afflicts China today. In the absence of constant encouragement and nudging young people today tend to forget to have babies.
H. I shall feign indifference in the affairs of neighbours and goings on in the neighbourhood. This might involve, among others, keeping oneself abreast of their family matters with particular focus on family squabbles, financial affairs, affairs of the heart, spending habits, saving habits (or lack thereof) and generally all matters which enable one to conclude how badly others manage their lives as opposed to how well one does.
In short, I resolve to become 100% Chennai-ite in 2013.
PS: The above list is only indicative and not exhaustive. Others may find obvious omissions in the list and I encourage them to make additions to the list as they deem fit and compose their own resolutions.
I am no glutton and am not a party animal. I don't need to make serious lifestyle changes except exercising. I have embraced the last named since the middle of last year and believe it is keeping my bad stuff down and good stuff up - I am too chicken to get them tested.
What I mean is I don't need to make fresh resolutions for living a better life - my Tambram credentials ensure that I cannot lead a more boring - and virtuous - life.
Still I have made some resolutions for the year 2013. These involve the following:
A. Drive like a local which entails
- Driving around in vehicles with blackened windows notwithstanding its express prohibition by the Supreme Court.
- Installing and using a multi-tone horn in my car and honking it as often and as long as I possibly can
- Flying a party flag from the hood of my car to secure immunity from the police
- Not stopping at red lights in line with principles of Physics which hold that slower speeds increase chances of collisions and slowest speed presents the most risk of collision.
- Lanes are for wimps and the entire road surface is meant to be used. If the only way to take a right turn is from the extreme left lane, so be it. I believe they do this in some states in the USA, only the other way around.
And so on
C. I shall force my way through queues at cinemas, hospitals, restaurants, railway stations, chemists etc. "They also serve who stand and wait" may be OK for Milton and those who want to serve.. But I want to be served which entails others standing and waiting while I am being served. I shall elbow sharply those who get in my way and stare down anyone who raises an eyebrow.
D. In the time-honoured Chennai tradition I shall share my all with everyone around and that includes my thoughts, family stories, phone conversations etc. This entails expressing thoughts, and conversing on phone at the loudest my larynx can manage. Even in public. Sharing will also involve sharing my garbage as in leaving my garbage in front of the neighbours' homes. My children however will not squat in front of my neighbours' homes - they are too grown up for that. The sharing shall include one's B.O.
E. To keep the family ties alive I shall visit family often and without prior information. Since life starts early in Chennai these visits shall be early in the day or mid afternoon which for some may be waking and siesta times. Family means never having to say you are coming, to paraphrase Love Story.
F. I shall take an active interest in culture, attending concerts during the Chennai Music Season. This may involve acting knowledgeable in matters musical, discussing the merits or lack thereof of musicians and composers, carrying songbooks to concerts and sharing my knowledge with those around. I shall also endeavour to make notes during concerts which is a highly evolved skill considering that it has to be done in a darkened concert hall while listening to the singer and discussing the finer points of the raga with the neighbour despite his / her obvious lack of enthusiasm for my views.
G. I shall take an active interest in match-making between eligible boys and girls and strive to ensure that Chennai does not fall victim to the kind of "one for four" demographic problem that afflicts China today. In the absence of constant encouragement and nudging young people today tend to forget to have babies.
H. I shall feign indifference in the affairs of neighbours and goings on in the neighbourhood. This might involve, among others, keeping oneself abreast of their family matters with particular focus on family squabbles, financial affairs, affairs of the heart, spending habits, saving habits (or lack thereof) and generally all matters which enable one to conclude how badly others manage their lives as opposed to how well one does.
In short, I resolve to become 100% Chennai-ite in 2013.
PS: The above list is only indicative and not exhaustive. Others may find obvious omissions in the list and I encourage them to make additions to the list as they deem fit and compose their own resolutions.
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