Air India today cancelled its Chicago flight in favour of the one to New York. This reminded me of what happened a decade ago. By the way, after my recent travails with a ticket to Chicago on Air India - such as an economy ticket costing as much as a business class one, but with only economy class privileges - I was happy I was not booked to fly on that airline after all.
To the decade-old story:
I was booked on Air India in order to attend the once a year board meeting in Paris (France, not Texas). I always had a healthy dislike of Air India, but had to fly the airline thanks to our collaborators who were constrained to only use it for overseas travel. I was not a big fan of Air France either but it had its positives: the wine was excellent as was the champagne; it arrived in Paris at 8 a.m. enabling a full day at work.
I was even less fond of Delta, which I sometimes found myself flying unwittingly without meaning to, thanks to their code-sharing arrangement with Air France. While it was generally far easier to be understood on Delta - if you spoke American, that is - the wine was far inferior and the beer execrable. How the Americans call Budweiser a beer is something I'll never fathom. But the clincher against traveling Delta was their security arrangements at Paris airport. While Delta and Air France passengers to Bombay / Delhi boarded the same aircraft operated by one or the other, the security that one had to go through was like chalk and cheese, the cheese being AF.
Once the Delta security staff was so offensive that I swore I shall never travel Delta if I could afford another airline. The African-American security officer asked me all sorts of offensive questions and it sounded as if he doubted my right to fly Business and indeed fly at all instead of riding a bullock cart. Some say Indians look down upon African Americans. I'd say that we look down upon them and they resent us. I think the officer was enjoying himself, over and above the call of duty. While the Delta security staff were trying their best to discourage passengers traveling Delta, the security queue was getting longer and longer and the danger of missing the flight was getting more real by the second. I feigned an incoming business call, made a smart about-turn and joined the Air France queue and breezed through.
Traveling Air France had its problems too and little English, albeit cutely accented, was just one of them. Obtaining vegetarian meal was another - whenever I requested it, I was given vegan meals sans everything and alcohol. Usually even these were allowed to be hijacked by some enterprising Jain family in the back of the bus. I am of the view that if God had wanted me to eat raw leaves and vegetables He would have endowed me with four legs, solid molars, four stomachs and a tail. And some horns, while we are at it. All I want is a wholesome meal without any flesh of any sort - walking, flying or swimming - lots of wine and no melted cheese.
To me the redeeming aspect of traveling Air France, minus Delta of course, was that not once was a flight delayed / cancelled / diverted or postponed or "merged" with another for reasons that the fourth nephew of the third cousin (twice-removed) of M.Mitterand / M.Chirac / M.Sarkozy was travelling or was unable to travel on it. If one were sufficiently handsome in some dissipated French way, one did get extra attention from the stewardesses. That didn't matter to me since they were all matronly and past their sell-by date in this route. Flights were cancelled / delayed / diverted for reasons that the Unions were up in arms against the management, the Government, the people, the Americans, the Europeans, the English, the French, or that it was too cold, or too hot, etc; but never for the reason that someone known to the high and mighty was / wasn't on it.
Back to Air India:
I was travelling to Paris with our business partners for a board meeting. I wasn't looking forward to this particular visit as it involved the onerous task of chaperoning our board members through Parisian evenings punctuated by mandatory visits to French cultural and gastronomic icons like the Lido, Moulin Rouge, Eiffel tower and sundry Indian restaurants. Some times it got particularly embarrassing as when the topless and feathered Lido girls decided to high-kick in our face. But all that was after we landed at Paris. First we had to get there.
We boarded the flight at Mumbai to be informed that there would be a "technical delay". We settled in and started reading - mostly fiction regarding how we were going to make our firm the biggest and the baddest. The flight purser turned up to shoo us from our business class seats - to the First class. We were quite pleased at this good fortune and assumed our new seats before the purser changed his mind. Thereupon he uncorked some champagne and offered it to us which was a bit surprising considering it was 9 a.m. The purser might have been used to the French ways like drinking champagne at 9 a.m. but we were all of solid middle class stock, mostly Tambram, and the only thing we drank at that time of day was holy water (prasadam in other words).
Notwithstanding our protests that it was too early for a drink, the purser managed to persuade one or two weak ones among us and grabbed one himself. Proceeding to make himself comfortable in a nearby seat, he started regaling us with idle chat and gossip. To remind the pest of his station I inquired about the delay and when the steering might be fixed so we could get airborne. He floored me saying "there is no technical problem with the plane". Seeing the look of surprise on my face he proceeded to refill his champagne flute and explain what was really going on.
It seems that the previous day's flight had been cancelled due to "technical reasons". The passengers from that flight had been accommodated in our flight which explained our being bumped up to first class. The delay was due to boarding these passengers. Assuming a conspiratorial look, he further explained that after our flight took off, the previous day's aircraft would effect a miraculous recovery and would be fit to fly later in the day. Minus fare-paying passengers of course. The simpleton that I was, I pointed out the illogicality of this whereupon he gave a pitying look and explained further: a certain minister would make a last minute booking for him and his family from Mumbai to New York and the Jumbo jet capable of carrying 400+ passengers would take off with about 40 members of the Mantriji's family.
The twists and turns of the story of the delayed flight beat anything I had read until then; even our own stories to our Board.
To the decade-old story:
I was booked on Air India in order to attend the once a year board meeting in Paris (France, not Texas). I always had a healthy dislike of Air India, but had to fly the airline thanks to our collaborators who were constrained to only use it for overseas travel. I was not a big fan of Air France either but it had its positives: the wine was excellent as was the champagne; it arrived in Paris at 8 a.m. enabling a full day at work.
I was even less fond of Delta, which I sometimes found myself flying unwittingly without meaning to, thanks to their code-sharing arrangement with Air France. While it was generally far easier to be understood on Delta - if you spoke American, that is - the wine was far inferior and the beer execrable. How the Americans call Budweiser a beer is something I'll never fathom. But the clincher against traveling Delta was their security arrangements at Paris airport. While Delta and Air France passengers to Bombay / Delhi boarded the same aircraft operated by one or the other, the security that one had to go through was like chalk and cheese, the cheese being AF.
Once the Delta security staff was so offensive that I swore I shall never travel Delta if I could afford another airline. The African-American security officer asked me all sorts of offensive questions and it sounded as if he doubted my right to fly Business and indeed fly at all instead of riding a bullock cart. Some say Indians look down upon African Americans. I'd say that we look down upon them and they resent us. I think the officer was enjoying himself, over and above the call of duty. While the Delta security staff were trying their best to discourage passengers traveling Delta, the security queue was getting longer and longer and the danger of missing the flight was getting more real by the second. I feigned an incoming business call, made a smart about-turn and joined the Air France queue and breezed through.
Traveling Air France had its problems too and little English, albeit cutely accented, was just one of them. Obtaining vegetarian meal was another - whenever I requested it, I was given vegan meals sans everything and alcohol. Usually even these were allowed to be hijacked by some enterprising Jain family in the back of the bus. I am of the view that if God had wanted me to eat raw leaves and vegetables He would have endowed me with four legs, solid molars, four stomachs and a tail. And some horns, while we are at it. All I want is a wholesome meal without any flesh of any sort - walking, flying or swimming - lots of wine and no melted cheese.
To me the redeeming aspect of traveling Air France, minus Delta of course, was that not once was a flight delayed / cancelled / diverted or postponed or "merged" with another for reasons that the fourth nephew of the third cousin (twice-removed) of M.Mitterand / M.Chirac / M.Sarkozy was travelling or was unable to travel on it. If one were sufficiently handsome in some dissipated French way, one did get extra attention from the stewardesses. That didn't matter to me since they were all matronly and past their sell-by date in this route. Flights were cancelled / delayed / diverted for reasons that the Unions were up in arms against the management, the Government, the people, the Americans, the Europeans, the English, the French, or that it was too cold, or too hot, etc; but never for the reason that someone known to the high and mighty was / wasn't on it.
Back to Air India:
I was travelling to Paris with our business partners for a board meeting. I wasn't looking forward to this particular visit as it involved the onerous task of chaperoning our board members through Parisian evenings punctuated by mandatory visits to French cultural and gastronomic icons like the Lido, Moulin Rouge, Eiffel tower and sundry Indian restaurants. Some times it got particularly embarrassing as when the topless and feathered Lido girls decided to high-kick in our face. But all that was after we landed at Paris. First we had to get there.
We boarded the flight at Mumbai to be informed that there would be a "technical delay". We settled in and started reading - mostly fiction regarding how we were going to make our firm the biggest and the baddest. The flight purser turned up to shoo us from our business class seats - to the First class. We were quite pleased at this good fortune and assumed our new seats before the purser changed his mind. Thereupon he uncorked some champagne and offered it to us which was a bit surprising considering it was 9 a.m. The purser might have been used to the French ways like drinking champagne at 9 a.m. but we were all of solid middle class stock, mostly Tambram, and the only thing we drank at that time of day was holy water (prasadam in other words).
Notwithstanding our protests that it was too early for a drink, the purser managed to persuade one or two weak ones among us and grabbed one himself. Proceeding to make himself comfortable in a nearby seat, he started regaling us with idle chat and gossip. To remind the pest of his station I inquired about the delay and when the steering might be fixed so we could get airborne. He floored me saying "there is no technical problem with the plane". Seeing the look of surprise on my face he proceeded to refill his champagne flute and explain what was really going on.
It seems that the previous day's flight had been cancelled due to "technical reasons". The passengers from that flight had been accommodated in our flight which explained our being bumped up to first class. The delay was due to boarding these passengers. Assuming a conspiratorial look, he further explained that after our flight took off, the previous day's aircraft would effect a miraculous recovery and would be fit to fly later in the day. Minus fare-paying passengers of course. The simpleton that I was, I pointed out the illogicality of this whereupon he gave a pitying look and explained further: a certain minister would make a last minute booking for him and his family from Mumbai to New York and the Jumbo jet capable of carrying 400+ passengers would take off with about 40 members of the Mantriji's family.
The twists and turns of the story of the delayed flight beat anything I had read until then; even our own stories to our Board.
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