Thursday 2 February 2012

THE WOMEN OF CHENNAI

First, a word about the title of this post:
"Madras Madams" would have sounded as if Madras was one vast bordello. Some of my puritanical older relatives - alas, not living any more - thought so, but that's neither here nor there; they would have thought that the pre-apple-and-snake Garden of Eden was one too, man and woman running around with no clothes on, with no consideration for others..."Chennai chicks" sounds far too youthful and promising of certain forwardness and wickedness. Somehow naming the women of Chennai after Gallus Gallus Domesticus seems an injustice to the former - or the latter? I cant decide which. In any case the women of my generation, who in their heydays were referred to as "dames" by their male peers would in all likelihood object to their being named after a bird, albeit domesticated.


But domesticated they, the women, not the chicks, were. Very much so. So much so, the rare "matrimonial" ads seeking suitable bridegrooms for the ladies in question never failed to mention that the girls were "domestic" and "well versed in domestic arts". What constituted these arts was left unsaid; but we young men suspected -nay, hoped - that the repertoire of "domestic arts"  included  what is best described as "conjugal skills" of which we ourselves were unclear but wildly excited. But whatever they were, we hoped, rather salaciously, that the girls in question were good at them. The domestic virtues certainly included, inter alia, respect to elders, getting along with the in-laws, respect for and obedience to the husbands, habit of thrift, ability to sing -usually put to test during Navaratri week - ability to extract from their parents vast quantities of gifts in cash and in kind on sundry occasions all through their lives, faith in and regular observance of religious rites, etc etc. The last named was usually displayed through symbols like kumkum and vibhuti received as prasadam from temples.

I made a reference to the matrimonial ads for young women of marriable age which, by the way, was anything between 18 and 23. Beyond 23, they were not of marriable age, although they may aspire to get married through someone else's cupidity or generosity in accepting a girl so "old". The "matrimonial" route to the married status was not the preferred mode. It was considered the last desperate action of desperate parents when all else had failed to make an alliance, and the only thing worse than that was the girl / woman advertising by herself. Although the adverts openly spoke of the domestic virtues  it was not as if those virtues were given the go-by in a marriage negotiated between the families. Domestication and "virtue" were two non-negotiables in those times. I am afraid most of today's girls / women would fail that test.

This is not an indictment of today's girls; just a statement of facts, such as they are. Today they were jeans, are not afraid to show "what they got", flaunt what they have and make up for what they don't with what Anthony Burgess called the "strapped and elasticated garments with which women sneer delicately at gravity". Today's girls pretty much read what they want to in college, although it is skewed mostly in favour of  Engineering / IT-related stuff in the hopes of finding a job in Cognizant (eat your heart out, Infosys, Cognizant is our preference, here in Chennai) and hopefully a partner for life as well. No more "marriage degrees" as they used to be known in my time which consisted chiefly of  English Litt (the Posh ones) Sociology (the supercilious ones advertising their disdain for job prospects and blind obedience to parents), Psychology (adventurous ones and ones who didnt make it to anything else) and the like. There were a few who stumbled into Physics, Chemistry and (god forbid) Maths. These were considered possessed of such low marriage prospects that their parents didnt bother to even attempt to conceal it. Mind you I am very fond of Mathematical sciences myself despite my palpable lack of success in them, but "hard sciences" were somehow said to make women unsuitable for the life's mission assigned to them which was to get married, raise children and be generally good and god-fearing.

Then Madras changed to Chennai. And many things changed with it. Some of which I have referred to in my other posts. Like names for example. What is most visible is the way the  Madras Mademoiselles have changed to Chennai Chicks. And there is an in-between generation too young to be the former and too old to be the latter. This generation went into government service in large numbers. They too got married, begat children, obeyed their husbands (albeit less readily), co-existed with their in-laws if the latter behaved, etc etc. They have gained significant financial independence. They prefer to work although from the available evidence it appears more for reasons of minimising time spent with the in-laws at home. I use the term "work" very loosely here. Very very very loosely indeed. They go to work - let me re-phrase it: they go their place of work - whenever they can and want to. Government jobs can be quite "flexible".

Somewhere along the way, they have become more assertive, like men. They drive scooters, as badly as the menfolk do. There is a newfound confidence about them. More than confidence; a sort of disdain for the old ways and values. Values like respect for age, for what is "right", honesty and integrity, etc etc. They seem to have become more like men in casting off these values. In Madras if you didnt want to pay a bribe at a government office, you sought out a female employee / superior officer knowing that men were on the take but the women would not demean themselves by expecting asking or receiving gratuities. In Chennai that would not yield the desired results.
An expensive silk saree might.

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